Coffee, cleaning and nut-cancer

Updated: Aug 24, 2019

Let me just say that this year has not been a great one, it seems almost as we are fated to have at least one really shit thing happen to us each year. Last year hubby had a lung collapse, this year testicular cancer. Grab a coffee and let me tell you about it, here's what happened... early August hubby after a bath noticed that one of his nuts, yes I said nuts... ooh! Anyway, he noticed that one of his nuts was a little bigger than the other, after showing me I had to agree it was a fair bit bigger, so he rang the doctors to book an appointment and seek an opinion. On August the 15th he was sent to the hospital to have an ultrasound scan on his big nut, the next day he was told it was most likely testicular cancer. August 26th hubby was told to go to the hospital after he rang the doctors to inform them that over the period of a few days the nut had increased in size. The nut removal operation was booked and performed that day. The doctors released Allen to go home on Saturday the 27th, blood tests followed to see if the cancer markers had gone down which they had done. Hubby was given the all clear but was told that there was a 30% chance he could get an even worse cancer without a chemotherapy. With chemotherapy, his chances of a re-occurrence would drop to less than 3%. October 23rd hubby was booked into Manchester to have some semen frozen so that one day after chemotherapy we could still start a family. We were and still are devastated to find out that hubby was already completely infertile and would not be able to have kids. I had always imagined myself and hubby with two kids of our own one day. Everyone thinks about having kids, for me, it was the one thing that even if I screwed everything else up I wouldn't care as long as I could still one day be a good mum, now I will probably never get that chance. Just thinking about kids now makes me almost want to break down into tears and cry. On October 25th the test to see if hubby's one remaining kidney could handle chemotherapy and it was booked for the 6th of November. The night of the 5th I was being very meticulous in cleaning the house, I'm generally a bit of a clean freak but I was even more worried now that I would miss something. Our house is not the most awesome of houses, to begin with, and we have cats but I was determined to make it as clean as possible for hubby while he was housebound with no immune system. On the 6th of November, the chemotherapy was done and he got to come home the same day. Hubby is a tough cookie, after getting home he sat down with a coffee we talked about how it was and how things had to be and pinned up hubby's very colorful medication roster that he has to adhere to over the next week. I find myself a little paranoid about everything that hubby touches and have set out Detol antibacterial wipes so that every night before bed I can go through and wipe everything down to make sure it's clean and ready to go for the next day. Starting in the bathroom I wipe down sinks, taps, toilet seats, and rinse out the bath. In the kitchen the dishes are done, coffee mugs are boiled out and new utensils are laid out for use. Each day I make sure there are clean clothes ready, the living room is tidy and then I do some vacuuming. I don't mean to be obsessive but sometimes I don't realize I am doing it, I will just start cleaning stuff. How are we coping... well dealing with cancer or caring for someone with cancer is an incredibly stressful and hard thing to do. Since the beginning of all this only one of our friends has actually bothered to inquire as to how we are and how we are coping. Not having that outside support has made things a lot harder, not having anyone besides each other to talk to. Hubby has been really positive about the whole experience whereas I have been freaking the fuck out! My mind just goes into 'what can I do' mode and because there is nothing I can do to fix something like this I just stress whether I am doing enough to make the situation better. On a positive note though I have recently found a really awesome new coffee that I have been loving, its a Percol Pick of the Crop Organic coffee. I feel like it's a lot more rich and creamier than other coffees and has been drinking no other coffee at the moment. Now, my friend, you are caught up.

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