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Week 17 - Giving up toxic family

Updated: Aug 24, 2019


'Some of the most poisonous people come disguised as Friends and Family' The decision to distance yourself from any family and friends always feels hard but if you have people in your life who disrespect you, try to control you, minimize your value, physically or emotionally abuse you, know this... you will be a lot happier and healthier without them. I grew up with seriously toxic parents, I didn't go to school worrying about bullies, for me I was more worried about going home to be bullied by my parents. Parents are meant to guide us, protect us and love us but unfortunately not every child gets parents with such great qualities. My parents were nothing but a cauldron of racists comments, manipulation, threats and disapproval of everyone that didn't agree with their point of view. The bad of my family far out ways the good and it didn't just stop at my mother and father, it was the grandparents too. A lot of what I received was most likely carried on from their own upbringings and trust me when I say my parent's families are a great deal more dysfunctional. I spent most of my upbringing doing the best I could to please my parents, not once have I heard them say they were proud for anything I had achieved in my life, instead, I was made to feel like it was never good enough. I developed self-confidence issues, I was always unsure of myself, I distanced myself from others, I felt damaged. This made it all the more easy for them to control me and make me do what they wanted because I was isolated. When I finally couldn't take it any longer, I decided it was time to part ways came to make my own way in life and distance myself from my parents, I was met with insults and a fist to my back. I was told that I was never welcome back, that I would 'end up a prostitute, laying in the gutter with a knife in my back' thanks for that one Grandad. At first, I was afraid, I felt guilty, I felt like I was letting them down like maybe I was a bad person for no longer wanting to tolerate them. After a while, though those negative feelings faded what I have been though had left its mark on me. It's been years now since I have had any contact with those negative people from my family, still to this day I suffer from low self-confidence, trouble making friends and I still question myself a lot before doing things. Would I ever change my decision to leave? HELL NO! Compared to when I was in touch with my parents I now feel incredibly free, free to be me, free to have a say without fear of being belittled, free to live my life. My point is whether its family or friends if a relationship is hurting you the best thing you can do is walk away.